Are You “Settling”?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve, at times, settled in my life. And what I mean by “settle” is to say, “Well, this relationship is good enough,” or “I can go to work this month/year and not hate it” (or worse – get through it), or “It’s o.k. that I’ve watched five movies this week.”

If you’re saying these words to yourself, you are settling. You are staying in a comfortable, o.k. place. BUT inside there is a feeling of discontent, of uneasiness at times, perhaps some unhappiness.

I know. I’ve experienced it.

And it’s easier to stay in that “settled” place than to make changes, because changes are scary! Especially when we don’t know what will happen in the future, and our mind makes up all kinds of stories to stay stuck in the familiar – in the world of settling.

As you enter a new year, look at your life and ask yourself where you might be settling for something that isn’t really true to you or your soul. Here’s what to look for:

  • A sense of discontentment in your stomach or heart space
  • Making excuses (what you think are good reasons) for your partner
  • Making excuses (what you think are good reasons)  for yourself – two of my favorites that I used lots: “I don’t have the time” or “I don’t have the money”
  • A lack of “get up-n-go-ness” in the morning
  • Long term complaining to your friends or family about work, relationship, friends, etc.

Can you relate to any of these? 

I heard a statistic recently – 65% of Americans HATE going to work in the morning. Now there’s some serious settling going on in this country, not just within ourselves.

You have one life (well, maybe more depending on your religion!). Now is the time to make your life into one that you love. 

I know, you’re saying, “I’m too old to change my job,” or “What if I can’t pay the bills?” or “No one else will take care of me like this.” Yes, I hear you. And I also want to say that you can continue telling yourself these things and run down the “what if” list, and stay right where you are, OR you can create more happiness in your life.

The choice is ultimately up to you. No one else. That’s the beauty – you have a choice.

And then your mind says, “Well, maybe next year… or in six months.” Why does your mind say that? Because it’s scary to go after what really matters to you, and to truly ask for what you want (what if you actually get it?)

Here’s some action steps to take in your life to leave the world of settling starting NOW:

  • Look at where it is you’re settling and why – write this down
  • Complete this sentence: “What I really want in a relationship/career/friendship is…”
  • “My excuses to stay in what I know are…”
  • Find someone to help you be accountable to what you really want in life (even if you don’t know what it is yet). This can be a friend or mentor, or a professional. 

The choice is yours. Today. No more settling. No more discontent. But it takes action on your part. I’m here to cheer you on every step of the way.

Categories: Health & Happiness

About the Author: Angela Patnode

My passion, my calling, is for you to be totally you. Through private coaching, in-depth retreats, and online group coaching programs, I help you tap into your intuition and clarify your desires and vision, I guide you to take active steps toward making your desires a reality.

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