“No, I can’t, I don’t have enough time” or “No, I can’t, I don’t have enough money.” Familiar excuses I spent much of my life running through my head, and saying them to others. “Do you want to go to…. Angela?”, “No, I can’t afford it” I’d reply. “A beautiful retreat to relax and rejuvenate…” I’d read, an immediate internal response following: “I can’t do that, I don’t have enough time or enough money.”
There are two things going on here, one is that I had a belief that I didn’t have enough time or money, the other, that I was living from a place of scarcity. These two excuses, time and money, are the most used excuses said to ourselves and to others in our culture. Why? Because they are socially acceptable. We are not questioned about it. And when we hear it, we reply, “Oh, I understand.” But what’s really going on, in most cases, is a cover up for the real reason, “I don’t want to spend time with you” or “I’m not worthy enough to do that” or “I need to say I’m busy because I will get attention when I say this.”
There are authentic reasons why we turn down opportunities, but we usually do not say these or admit them to ourselves. And what happens is we miss an opportunity to do something that would help us be more in line with what we value and what we want in life. We are good at keeping ourselves in that “safe” place, within our comfort zone, which keeps us safe, but does not allow us to be our true selves, and experience more of life.
And we often live from a place of scarcity or a place of “enough-ness” unconsciously. When we say to ourselves, “I don’t have enough of this, or enough of that, or I’m not enough…” that’s the reality we are creating for ourselves. We don’t have enough, ever. But, if we say “I have enough time, enough money, or I am enough,” than this is the truth. The truth we have created.
Pay attention to what your excuses are today and this week. What are you saying “NO” to in your life? Look more deeply and find the answer. At this point you can choose to either say the true reason or you can drop the excuse and say “YES.” This does not mean to drop your needed boundaries, but realize where in your life you can be expanding and growing by saying yes, when you normally say “no” in order to stay in your comfort zone.
When I became conscious of my excuses, and decided to drop them, my outlook and perception changed as well. I now know that I have enough of everything, time and money included. I set goals to increase these as needed, and have found that I am grateful for what I have, and who I am. You can have this too. Create what you want and desire in your life through actively saying YES to what you know will help you create it!
Categories: Conflict & Forgiveness