Letting Go of the Person You Use to Be

May 12, 2014

One of the most beautiful parts of my work is guiding clients to let go.

To let go of a career that’s not serving them anymore, a relationship they know isn’t right for them anymore, or anger or resentment toward themselves or a family member that’s keeping their heart from truly opening.

It can also be to let go of an identity – the person they use to be.

You see, that was me. I was attached to who I was. I defined myself by what I could do with my body, and my work title. Who was I if I wasn’t those things? Who was I if I couldn’t keep up on the trail, or win a race, or climb a mountain?

I didn’t ask the question until I was forced to by my body with a 2 year virus and couldn’t do those things. I couldn’t work as I once was able to in the mountains. So who was I?

There’s a great book titled, “Letting go of the person you use to be” by Lama Surya Das. Through the Buddhist lens, he talks about loss as we go through life. This book was really important for me as I was going through this enormous loss of identity.

It could be losing relationships, friends, parents, jobs, careers, pets, and our body through aging, down to the little things like the loss of today when tomorrow comes and the loss of this moment to the next one.

Sounds pretty grim doesn’t it?

The truth is, it’s not grim, because when you are able to let go of one thing, it gives you the eyes to see the beauty of what’s in front of you – and within you. To know yourself, perhaps for the first time.

When I let go of who I thought I was (my body, my thoughts, my career), I actually opened into much more happiness, joy, and excitement for life. It’s like someone took off the barrier of mental confinement, and I was free to play. Free!

That’s the reward for letting go. Yes, there is loss, but it inevitably brings you to more freedom, more aliveness, more awake to be truly you.

But it took the loss itself of not having what I thought I wanted, and letting go of that loss. As long as I held on, believing I’d be better soon and return to “normal,” I would be o.k.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross says it beautifully, “If you truly want to grow as a person and learn, you should realize that the universe has enrolled you in the graduate program of life, called loss.”

I won’t lie…letting go can be a painful process. The ego doesn’t want to let go. It wants to hold on for dear life. It pushes, it pulls, it stomps it’s feet, it screams, it cries, and says, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” to the loss.

Here’s the thing, the moment you let go, the MOMENT you truly let go, you will feel an ease in your body, a release, a relaxation. There may even be some sadness and grieving too (and that’s important), but you’ll find relief mixed in with it.

Be free. Be free to be you. Be free to open into this moment, this truth, to you as you are. Let go of who you believe you should be so that you can be the person that you are meant to be with all the beautiful gifts, quirks, creativity, and love that’s inside you. I promise, you’ll never go back once you feel it.

Want to be more of who you are truly are and see for yourself what it’s like to let go and let ease into your heart? Join me for the Opening the Heart Residential Meditation Retreat coming up at Homestake Lodge May 30-June 1. A beautiful location to open to the beauty within you.

Categories: Heart Centered Living

My passion, my calling, is for you to be totally you. Through private coaching, in-depth retreats, and online group coaching programs, I help you tap into your intuition and clarify your desires and vision, I guide you to take active steps toward making your desires a reality.

4 comments to “Letting Go of the Person You Use to Be”

Robin
May 14, 2014 at 8:18 pm

The more I let go of limiting thoughts; open and embrace new possibilities, the easier I can breathe and flow through life. I am learning that it really takes time ~ time to focus; be present; in each moment and leave “getting things done” and multi-tasking behind. Each moment is precious and I am so much happier when I immerse myself in whatever is before me. Thank you for your continued encouragement to let go, no matter how much the ego want to stay attached. It’s a constant awareness, but a blessed one. Thanks, Angela.

Reply
1. Angela Patnode
  May 16, 2014 at 4:18 pm
  
  You’re welcome Robin! This is the journey, opening to this moment just as it is. As you are noticing, it takes time, patience, and commitment to the path. Doing it over and over and over again. Well done Robin!
  
  Reply
Roxane Lessa
May 15, 2014 at 6:49 pm

Angela, I went through this when I had to stop my ballet career. It was so painful, and I truly didn’t know who I was for a long time. But the cool thing is that it opened up to what I am doing now, with my fiber art and teaching. If I had stayed stuck in the dance world, none of this would have been possible. Your articles are always well written and valuable!

Reply
1. Angela Patnode
  May 16, 2014 at 4:14 pm
  
  Thanks so much for sharing your journey Roxane. I’m so happy for you in what you experienced as you let go of ballet. It’s incredibly hard to let go of something we love or identify with, but ultimately it opens the door for something else. I’m glad you are enjoying the articles!
  
  Reply

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Angela’s commitment to accept me and provide a supportive, open perspective helped me see that my mind kept me in patterns of fear. From our work together, I’m not so ingrained in those patterns. I’m feeling the confidence that has always been within me to step through fears and live the life I want. She has made a tremendous impact in my life.

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After taking the 1-on-1 program with Angela, I feel more at ease with myself. I am more open and patient with myself and with others. My life is different because I have learned the tools to become less reactive, more mindful and more loving with myself.

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With Angela’s caring guidance, I was able to become more aware of my feelings and where they were in my body. I am now able to listen to and trust my intuition and take action when it aligns with my true self. I have a clear sense of vision for my next career and am taking steps toward this vision with the attitude of imperfect action.

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After working with Angela, I’m happy to be me as I am now, and so curious about others as they are at that moment as well. I experience so much less stress and so much more joy!

Rebecca, Big Sky, MT

Angela reintroduced me to meditation, journaling, and just being present. She showed me how asking “what is true” can lead to clarity. Now I am able to come from a more peaceful and grounded place.

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Angela helped me to see my belief of not feeling worthy, and provided me with the tools to dissolve this belief. By becoming aware of how this belief caused my actions and reactions, I am finally able to own my decisions without feeling inhibited by what others might think.

Shannon, Bozeman, MT

Angela’s guidance and encouragement in the practice of meditation has been paramount in this journey towards inner peace and self-acceptance. As reflected in her name, Angela has given me wings, for which I am forever grateful.

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Angela is a beautiful person and inspiring and supportive coach. I feel more peaceful, more connected to myself. My purpose is gradually unfolding and I continue to invite and embrace more fun and intuition into my days.

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In her 1-on-1 program, Angela suggested practical, intuitively-based assignments to help me stimulate my own intuition and remember the love for others that I had long ago buried. My sense of zeal in the spiritual adventure has been awakened.

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Before working with Angela, I had entered a prolonged period where I felt like I had lost control of my life and that I was racing from minute to minute and day to day just to accomplish my work.

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