Why I Stopped Trying to be Normal

I use to want to be “normal.”

I use to want to fit in with the crowd. To be accepted by all. To be liked. To be normal.

To be normal meant dressing normally, acting normally, working normally, and socially interacting normally.

Well, I didn’t wear dresses when I was kid. I liked to play in the dirt instead. I didn’t have a lot of friends because I was an introvert – I didn’t know how to be social, and often times didn’t want to be.

I couldn’t see myself in a 9-5 job – the thought just about killed my spirit. And at 44, I’m still single without children. Double whammy in this world. 

BUT, and here’s the big but – I’m living my truth.

I didn’t want to live my truth for a long time. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to have the husband, the kids, the “normal” job, and the social skills to be invited to every party.

I cried at night, screaming at God, asking to be normal. “Please, can you just make me normal?”

I even had a computer tell me I’m not normal when I had one of those computerized tests done at the career center that tells you what career you’d be good at given your interests. Guess what? The results came back, “Does not fit into any of the categories.” 

Was this some kind of cosmic joke?

In the dictionary, normal equals average or conforming to a standard.

I thought, “What if I embraced not being “normal” so I can actually be myself?  What if I’m outside of average? What if I’m extraordinary?”

A-ha. A light bulb went on. When I stopped trying to fit into the mold of society, I actually had the freedom to be myself. In every sense of the thought.

I could be o.k. being an introvert at a party, I could be o.k. wearing whatever I wanted to wear, I could be o.k. being single and not having children, and I could be o.k. in creating the career that really comes from my heart – not the standard or average.

What a concept!

I still work on not striving to be normal. I take a step every day in being true to myself. True to what matters to me, true to my work, true to what I value, and true to my heart. It’s not easy sometimes. I’ve noticed as I become more true to myself, there are people that feel threatened by it. That tell me I “should” be a certain way.

My business coach last year warned me of this. When I receive criticism from someone, it may knock me off my center for an hour or a day, but I come back to my truth and stand in it. As time passes, my center becomes more strong, more rooted, and unwavering. 

You can be normal. It’s o.k. to be normal. But if you want to truly be yourself – and be true to yourself (it’s called Wise Action in the Buddhist teachings), then stop being normal, so you can be you.

When you are truly you, I guarantee you’ll feel happier, more at peace, more joyful, and a sense like you’re swimming WITH life instead of against it. The struggle stops.

What’s one small action you can take today that brings you outside the circle of normalcy, and into the sphere of extraordinary. How would you dance if no one was watching? Be that dancer in how you live your life. It’s never too late.

Categories: Heart Centered Living

About the Author: Angela Patnode

My passion, my calling, is for you to be totally you. Through private coaching, in-depth retreats, and online group coaching programs, I help you tap into your intuition and clarify your desires and vision, I guide you to take active steps toward making your desires a reality.

2 comments to “Why I Stopped Trying to be Normal

  1. Jo Ann Spaulding

    What is normal? Who knows? Just B U! No one has the right to judge anyone. We r all facing challenges in our Lives. It’s how we handle them that matters.
    I truly enjoyed the summer solstice event you put on, thanks for sharing Ur time with Us. I do admire your work and I am working on my self as well. Just a little hard to get to Bozeman at times. We do need more people like U in this world and it seems like to me it is going that way. Bless U, Jo Ann

    1. Angela Patnode

      Yes – be you all the way! I’m so grateful to hear from you Jo Ann! I’m happy you found the solstice event to be powerful. You’re on a beautiful path, and YOU are gift to this world too.

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