What If You Let Love In?

There’s a song by the Goo Goo Dolls with this line in it, “The end of fear is where we begin – The moment we decide to let love in.”

I’ve heard it sung many times. Words, powerful words. But up until now, I hadn’t really “let love in” fully.

Rumi says, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

I woke up to a barrier I have built against love this past weekend.

The way I look for those barriers is to ask myself where I’m not feeling in harmony in my life. Recently, I’ve picked up on how I react when a friend cancels our plans together to do something.

This reaction has been going on a long time, but it took me awhile to actually want to do something about it (that self ownership thing – it’s easier to blame the other person).

My reaction was to get angry, say they aren’t keeping their word, etc. and underneath that, I’d feel disappointed, and had a very visceral sinking feeling in my chest. I would push it aside and tell myself it was o.k. to do things alone.

This past weekend I decided to get to the bottom of what was happening.

Thru the guidance of my mentor Elaine Alpert and a workshop she facilitated over the weekend, she helped me see that I have an unconscious, underlying belief that others don’t care about me.

Each time a friend would cancel, the sinking feeling in my chest was the belief making it’s statement, “See – others don’t care…”

I then told the Truth: that others do care – a lot.

But there was more – something deeper and even more profound.

As I was sitting in a meditation at the end of the workshop, a very clear, conscious, knowing statement was said from my wisdom/higher self/truth. It was one of those moments of clarity like when you hear a bell that is perfectly in tune being sung and it lingers in the background afterward like the glow of a sunset after the sun has set.

The words were, “Let others love you more.”

Tears welled up in my eyes when I heard it.

I realized I haven’t been letting love in fully from other people – more so from my family and friends. I would let it in to a certain degree and then it would hit this invisible wall of protection just before entering my heart.

The wall said, “Don’t let it fully in or you’ll get hurt.”

There’s my barrier to fully receiving love: a fear of getting hurt.

The fear was stopping the love entering like a retaining wall holds back the water that nourishes the plants down stream.

I left the workshop with a new intention and a new purpose in life: to let others love me. To fully feel the love of each person enter. Not deflect it, not run from it, but stand in it. With both feet. Heart open.

I know I’m hitting the mark because tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this. 

Thank you to all the people who love me and see me. I stand in my new intention and purpose as a flower stands to face the morning sun. It feels scary and powerful.

What is the barrier your heart has built from fully experiencing love? Would you like to change that?

Categories: Heart Centered Living

About the Author: Angela Patnode

My passion, my calling, is for you to be totally you. Through private coaching, in-depth retreats, and online group coaching programs, I help you tap into your intuition and clarify your desires and vision, I guide you to take active steps toward making your desires a reality.

11 comments to “What If You Let Love In?

  1. Roxane Lessa

    Beautiful post, Angela. I’ve been feeling the same thing lately too. And learning to love myself, too, that old cliche, but very necessary. I’m happy to know you and love you too.

    1. Angela Patnode

      Thank you Roxanne. It’s a very human experience – the belief that we’re not loved. I’ve come to love myself, yet had the missing piece of truly letting others love me. Funny how that works. I feel incredible freedom from breaking down the wall! I’m grateful for your love.

  2. Eric

    I resonate with this. I also have barriers and protection in place to prevent myself from experiencing love at deep levels. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Angela Patnode

      You’re welcome Eric. Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s important to know we’re not alone on this journey of life!

  3. Dan Rutt

    Thanks Angela for the blog “what if you let love in”. It speaks volumes to me about my whole life in failed relationships…the fear of being truly loved and letting someone in and the pain that might go with it, I have never been able to do that. A barrier I must remove.

    1. Angela Patnode

      I’m so glad the article touched you in a profound way Dan. The fear of getting hurt is the barrier. When the barrier is removed it’s like a feeling of vastness and expansion that takes it’s place. I can help you with removing the barrier when you are ready to take the step.

  4. susan

    I love reading your writings, it helps clarify the universal feelings and experiences we all share as humans. I have had a lot of “alone” time over the past year, and realize to move out of grieving I have to reach out to my family and friends. And every time I do, they show up for me huge! It is a great start to letting love in at a deeper level. I love you and look forward to some time with you in August.

    1. Angela Patnode

      I love you too Sus! Friends and family are the mortar of our love. I’m so happy for you in that you’re reaching out and moving thru the grief of loss. I’m excited to see you and re-connect with your beautiful heart.

  5. Robin


    Your post was so touching, Angela, especially because you seem eminently lovable to me, and I’m sure to many others. You are so full of love that you give freely to others in your work that I was surprised you didn’t feel comfortable letting it in. Yet, I also understand that self-protection that comes into play in relationships. I’ve felt that in developing friendships as well as old ones. For me, it seems to stem from a sense of not feeling OK enough for others to love me at times. And yet, with meditation that has faded away for the most part, replaced with a greater sense of self worth. It’s been interesting seeing others reaching out to me to get together now, a big change from before. I’m steeped in gratitude for each opening that finds its way to me. Like I always said to Emma before she went to sleep as a child: “You are lovable just the way you are.” You are too, Angela.
    Hugs, Robin

    1. Angela Patnode

      Thanks for your beautiful thoughts Robin. It’s funny how those old patterns of the mind stay in place in different ways. It’s thru awareness that they can be noticed and changed. I’m so happy for you and the changes you are experiencing. They are truly life changes that create incredible shifts in how you feel and experience each day.

  6. gisela reynolds

    Yours, Angela, and other remarks about love, prompted this. We use the word love so loosely. It has become merely sensuous, sexual, love is identified with pleasure.

    Love is something that can not be invited or cultivated. It comes about naturally, easily, when the other things are not. And in learning about oneself, one comes upon it. Where there is love there is compassion. and compassion has its own intelligence. Love brings a different way of being in the world. It brings concern and care.

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