Who You Hang Out With Matters

There was a time in my life when I would hang out with whoever showed an interest in spending time with me. I’m not talking cute boys (well, that happened too), but the friends that asked, “Want to go for a hike?” – after they complained about their job, boyfriend, life, etc. for the 3rd time that week.

Inside I felt excited that someone wanted to do something with me, but also this feeling of simply yuckiness – like my energy was getting drained. I didn’t know why, but something wasn’t sitting well inside me.

I now know, and as part of the spiritual program I went through, that who we hang out with matters – BIG TIME.

It’s been proven through studies that your success and quality of life will be the average of the five people you most hang out with.


I was encouraged during the program to “weed my garden” – to look at the people in my life, and move away from those that are not feeding my growth – that are cynical, negative, complainers, excusers (someone who finds excuses for everything), or a closed heart.

(This DOES NOT imply a judgment of these people – they want to be loved just like you do. It just means they are not your “tribe” for living your full purpose.)

I had some weeding to do, and it was hard, but it made a HUGE difference in how I perceived myself and the growth I was experiencing inside.

I was finally free to fly. 

If you surround yourself with people who have habits that are taking you away from being 100% you and your true purpose (or represent something you want to quit doing) – addictive smoking, drinking, drugs, or overeating, complaining, sarcastic, degrading, etc. – you’ll have a really hard time quitting - and a really hard time finding yourself in all that.

I now surround myself with people who are on a journey of growth. Who want to open their hearts, and find out what matters to them. Who stretch their comfort zone, and reach for something bigger, and put energy into that something bigger. 

It gives me energy and courage when a friend says, “I told my partner how I really felt last night, it was scary, but I did it!”  Wow – “Awesome,” I think “Maybe I can do that too…!”

Surround yourself with people in your life who lift you up, who challenge your status quo of comfort, and help you see life in a new perspective. This doesn’t mean to have friends that are just like you, but a variety of people who see life in different ways.

However, they all have one thing in common – they are FOR you, and what is possible within you – and you for them.

I want you to look at your life right now. Pause for a moment, take a deep breath. Ask yourself who in your life is not healthy for you – either emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Your intuition knows.

Now, settle in your heart on the people who are FOR you – even if you don’t know them well yet, maybe they are worth getting to know better. Think of five people. 

These are the people to surround yourself with – seek them out in a class, dinner social, or mutual acquaintance – they are a main ingredient of your happiness.

Categories: Health & Happiness

About the Author: Angela Patnode

My passion, my calling, is for you to be totally you. Through private coaching, in-depth retreats, and online group coaching programs, I help you tap into your intuition and clarify your desires and vision, I guide you to take active steps toward making your desires a reality.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Skip to toolbar