This article is for you if:
- You’re single
- You’re settling in a relationship that you know isn’t your true heart’s desire (or is a “maybe” that probably means no), but you stay because you’re afraid of being single
- You’re on the verge of divorce
- You’re in a healthy relationship and want some tips for self-care
I’ve been single for 10 years. Yup, you read that right – 10 years. And I’m happier and more content than I’ve ever been. Yup, you read that right too.
I’m here to debunk the romance movie and cultural myth that you’re only happy if you’re in a relationship, and to shed some light so that you can be happy living a single lifestyle – because it rocks!
Lasting happiness is not found in ANYTHING outside of you – including another person.
Lasting happiness can only be found with YOU. In how you think (and seeing the TRUTH of your thoughts), how you balance your day, how you spend time nurturing yourself, how you open your heart to yourself and others, and how you live or don’t live your life’s purpose.
Being single does not mean that you have to be lonely. In fact, it’s an opportunity to develop a really healthy relationship with yourself (which is the most important relationship to create in your life) if you choose.
So let’s get down to biz…
Check out these 7 tips to being happy and being single:
- Stop the negative thinking. ”Poor me. I’m single and everyone else around me is in relationship and they are ALL happier than me. Being single sucks.” This thought alone will keep you in the “being single sucks” mentality. It’s time to get out of it.
When that thought comes in, tell it to stop. You are making assumptions that others are happy – remember that we all put on a happy face culturally, but it’s not necessarily the truth. There are many of people miserable and/or lonely in a relationship – I know, I use to be one of them.
- Create a healthy relationship with yourself. Say, “I am complete and whole as I am” to yourself at the start of everyday (and when the thought from tip #1 comes in). You are complete and whole as you are in a relationship or single – the choice is yours whether you see this or not.
- Build your tribe. Call people who you want to spend time with, don’t just expect others to reach out to you. Other people want to know that they are cared about too – and you can provide that care. Make plans with them. Extra tip: don’t waste your time and energy trying to connect with people who are regularly “too busy.”
- Make plans for the evening. Take a weekly creative art class, make a dinner plan, attend a community event, go to yoga, and more. I have 3 of my week nights planned with events that get me outside of my house (I work from home). They help me feel connected to people, laugh, and learn something new.
- Have a pet. Pets are one of the best parts of being human – I believe! Coming home to a live being is incredibly fun and feeds that part of your heart that wants to love. My cat Dave greets me at the door every time I come in, he greets me in the morning when I wake up, and he’s always happy to be petted. He’s truly been one of the greatest gifts for opening my heart. If you’re allergic to furred animals – get a goldfish!
- Be present while you eat. Eating can be one of the “lonely” times being single. Choose it as a time to be present with your food. Look at your food, smell your food, enjoy the taste of your food. And finally, thank your food for sustaining your body.
- Know that you’re not alone. There are more and more people choosing the single lifestyle. They are choosing to not settle for less in a relationship, and finding happiness on their own – you can too. Don’t stay in an unhealthy relationship or search for a partner just to fill the “hole” inside you, because the hole isn’t going to be filled by them. It’s the hole of not feeling enough, that only YOU can fill by seeing and knowing that you’re enough as you are – with or without a partner.
Click here to contact me to find out how!
Final thought: I am not saying that you’ll be happier outside of a relationship. What I’m saying is that you can be truly happy on your own. Period. Stay open to having a relationship, but don’t view it as the end all, be all, pining for your “soul mate,” because there is a whole lot of misery in that – I know, I’ve done that too.
Categories: Health & Happiness