What if Your Body Was a Fiesta?

A few years ago I saw an ad on Facebook, “Models Wanted. No experience preferred.” I clicked on it. I had a secret desire to be a model, but didn’t think I had the looks to be that person. But more deeply, because I didn’t really embrace my body all that much.

In fact, I was uncomfortable in it a lot of the time – unless I was doing something athletic. But put on dress, and whoa, AWKWARD. Feminine, AWKWARD. Make-up – really AWKWARD.

Not because it wasn’t me, but because of what I believed about being feminine – it was weak, dainty, shameful, and not to be flaunted.

I can say now those beliefs are shattered to the wind and I couldn’t imagine seeing life from a more opposite perspective, but yes, that’s how I saw the world at that time, and me in that world…

So back to the Facebook ad. After I clicked, it brought me to this page that said, “Looking for everyday women who have never modeled to produce quality glamour pictures for a photography class.” Hmmm. That sounded interesting.

I met with the photographer, palms sweating. He brought me through a slew of photos I could choose from to be modeled as: totally clothed, partially clothed, lingerie, or totally nude. Gulp. Totally nude, “not going there” I said in my head.

It was bringing up all kinds of baggage I had around my body, and it’s exactly why I was there.

I went lingerie shopping with a friend (who decided to do this glamour shoot too), and I can say I’ve never had so much fun shopping, picking out lacy and extravagant undies and bras. I had a sense of liberation, but not totally yet.

Then the shooting day came. I had my hair and makeup done professionally for the first time. Whoa. Is that me in the mirror? I drove to the studio. Gulp. The tightness in my stomach increasing. I walked in, he said, “You can go change in there.” I said, “Into my undies?” “Yup,” he replied. Gulp (for the 10th time – my mouth getting beyond dry).

I’ve climbed vertical ice, I’ve skied gnarly terrain, I’ve been 700 feet up on a rock face, I’ve hung in a crevasse, and I’ve been in storms where I didn’t think I’d come out alive, but this, being in my undies in front of the camera, was about as nervous and uncomfortable as I’d ever been.

He started shooting. I wanted to go hide in a corner. He said to lay on my back. I tried curling into a ball. He encouraged me to relax. I slowly began to.

There was no going back now. And I noticed something. As I began to relax, I started to be IN my body more. I started to see myself differently. And several weeks later, when he showed me the pictures on a big screen, tears came to my eyes. Wow – I had never seen myself that way before. I looked beautiful, sexy, and amazing.

Flash forward to this past weekend. Tango dancing. The dance that has done a lot of what the glamour photos have done for me – teaching me how to be IN my body – and be IN my femininity. How to OWN IT.

It’s part of why my word for 2014 is sensuality. I want to be even more in my body. Which happened this past weekend. I walked into the dance and said to myself, “Angela, believe that you are the most sensual woman on the dance floor.”

That’s all it took. I embraced my body, the moves, the accents, and the poise – for 3 solid hours. I’d never felt that “embodied” dancing before, and at one point the words came into my mind, “I LOVE being a woman!!”

Whoa. Now there’s a change in my beliefs.

I finally got what Eduardo Goleano meant in this quote (I have on my fridge):

The Church says: the body is a sin
Science says: the body is a machine
Advertising says: the body is a business
The Body says: I am a Fiesta!

What if you allowed your body to be a fiesta? What might come out? What part of you might be expressed?…

Categories: Feminine Power

About the Author: Angela Patnode

My passion, my calling, is for you to be totally you. Through private coaching, in-depth retreats, and online group coaching programs, I help you tap into your intuition and clarify your desires and vision, I guide you to take active steps toward making your desires a reality.

8 comments to “What if Your Body Was a Fiesta?

  1. Patrice

    Love it! Great words, thoughts, ideas, and beliefs to live by. Thanks for sharing.

    1. angela patnode

      You’re welcome Patrice!

  2. Tim

    I love your writing style, Angela. I don’t think I’ve noticed it before, but in a world where everything gets skimmed, I really get drawn into your stories and prose. ūüôā

    1. Angela Patnode

      Thank you so much Tim. Your words mean a lot. I appreciate you sharing with me, and your readership!

  3. Lorca Smetana

    I love the Fiesta! What a terrific word for the body. I’ve been in a conversation about owning my own body, and this fits in wonderfully. Thank you.

    1. Angela Patnode

      You’re welcome Lorca! I’m happy for you in this conversation you’re having with your body. May we all embrace the fiesta within us!

  4. becky

    Love this! I can relate to the beginning-the fear! And reading on, your moving through that and the joy and beauty you experienced and became. Thank you for reminding us about the beauty of being a woman.

    1. Angela Patnode

      I’m so glad you love the article Becky! I do truly love being a woman and it’s powerful to embrace my body in all of it’s wonder.

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