I’ve learned over the years transitions have a certain path to them, an emotional path. You could be in a transition of career, relationship, health, empty nest, money, or several others. Life is full of them.
To wish life didn’t have transitions would be like wishing the wind didn’t blow. You can still wish, but it will still happen. It’s part of this journey of life.
Transitions are often the death of an identity or a way of being, and an opening into something new. That’s why it’s an emotional path.
Here are the 3 stages of transition:
Stage 1: A feeling like something is changing or needs to change but you don’t know what.
You feel unsettled, searching, grasping, unclear, emotional, frustrated or impatient.This can go on for several weeks, months or possibly years. This stage often involves a lot of tears in the stage.
Stage 2 – You begin to have moments of clarity which can you leave in total panic and sometimes relief.
Panic because the quiet voice of clarity is telling you to do something you don’t want to do (yet), maybe out of your comfort zone, or to dive into the unknown (none of which sound appealing).
It may also bring up lots of “what ifs,” “should and shouldn’ts,” yes,buts,” and “I can’ts” from the ego. Fear will be having a party inside you. There can be lots of tears here too.
Relief because there is some clarity and relief as to why you’ve been feeling so lousy.
Stage 3 – When clarity becomes more loud and clear, acceptance of what could come settles inside you. The resistance to change begins to ease, the fear settles a little or a lot, and there becomes more willingness to open to what’s next.
Anxiety decreases and the moments of panic become fewer and farther between. You begin to feel a little hope or curiosity about what’s coming next.
Stage 4 – Most of your energy is now going into the next phase, while small moments of grief still come and go from what you are leaving behind.
All of this is happening because you are letting go of an identity, breaking beliefs about yourself and fears of the unknown, and surrendering to what your intuition or life are asking you to do.
Transitions are not necessarily easy and that’s why we resist them, it’s uncomfortable and can feel downright yucky and scary sometimes.
Here’s how to navigate transitions:
- Stick with your meditation practice or routine of self care. This is really important – it will give you some sense of center when the poop is hitting the oscillator or you’re on the floor in your bedroom in a ball of tears.
- Journal about what you’re feeling in your body – the unsettled-ness, confusion, fear of letting go, and the resistance to letting go.
- Do things that make you smile like time and nature, music, dance, plays, pottery, singing, etc.
- Be patient with the process and be kind with yourself along the way.
- Listen for clues to what’s next. Intuition speaks in small short sentences in between the “shoulds,” “what ifs,” etc.
- Reach out for support and guidance such as a friend of family member, teacher, coach (transitions are one of my specialties) or mentor. Nothing can take the place of a fresh perspective and words of encouragement.
The more you can BE with the discomfort of the process, the more at peace you’ll feel through each stage.
You can’t hurry it along but you can surrender to the journey and respond with an open heart.
Categories: Inner Wisdom & Intuition, Meditation & Mindfulness, Stress & Anxiety