Does the word sex make you feel uncomfortable? Cause a little tightness in your stomach? Yet totally grab your attention at the same time? Maybe you feel a little excitement too?
We don’t talk about it, but we think about it. We don’t share about it, but we share it with someone. We might have dark skeletons in the closet, or none at all around sex (unlikely).
We may feel shame about it (that was me), or disgust, or anger, or trepidation, or guilt, or vulnerability, or desire, or passion…. or spiritual.
Yes, spiritual. Sex is a spiritual path as much as money is. Ignore this part of your humanness and you’re ignoring part of yourself.
Perhaps your partner hasn’t touched you in years. Or you haven’t touched them. Perhaps you were sexually molested as a child or raped as an adult. Perhaps you have never experienced true intimacy with a partner – that sex is more of a way to connect on a physical level, but true vulnerability is the missing piece.
Only you know what is true for you here.
I was ashamed of my sexuality for many years. I tucked it away. I hid it under piles of outdoor clothes and ski wear. I didn’t believe I had a sexy body, so why show it.
I kind of connected with a partner sexually, but stayed hidden at the same time. I didn’t want to say how I really felt, or what I really wanted from him. Too scary.
So I stayed closed. Closed in my heart, closed in my desires, and closed sexually and intimately.
As I open up to this part of myself, I open up to more of “me.” To more of my humanness. To being present with someone in the most intimate way. That is the spiritual piece – to be present with yourself and another human being (or with just yourself too!), from your true essence.
It’s a time where you can experience the sublime, the essence of life by leaving all other concepts of time. It is the time when you are in true alignment with the energy of life. The life creator resulting from sexual intimacy.
So what do you want for YOU in relation to sex?
Here are some helpful guidelines on creating the most spiritual sexual experience EVER (believe me, I’m not an expert on this, but someone who’s lived a human life):
- Heal the wounds. Get counseling for past sexual, physical and emotional abuse (this includes rape). This will affect your sex life profoundly and must be healed to feel comfortable in your own body again. It could also be healing wounds around neglect or abandonment too.
- Take a stand for yourself. If your partner hasn’t touched you for years, ask yourself whether that’s what you really want, and if you’re willing to leave the relationship to experience true intimacy. Or vice versa – ask why you’re not wanting to touch your partner any more.
- Start seeing yourself in a sexual light. You have a beautiful body no matter the size, shape, gender, muscle tone, fat, hair, eyes, or anything else. You have a sexual body. That’s reality and truth.
- Be present. Be present with sex. Be vulnerable with sex. Be YOU with sex. Let your inhibitions fly. Be free. Be real. There is no other place to be but in that moment. If you’re not in that moment, take a step back and ask why.
Here’s to your sexuality. Sex is a path of spirituality. It is not separate. Find your most intimate self in sex, and you will find your most intimate self in spirit.