Hi there Angela,
I opened up my garage door for her – the young woman who came by to possibly buy the futon I had for sale.
She and her friend looked at it, sat in it, and said, “Yes, we’ll take it. It’s our first piece of furniture we’re buying and it’s perfect.”
I replied back, “That’s great! It was my first piece of furniture too when I bought my house.” We smiled, they loaded it up in the pickup and I walked back into my home.
What happened next caught me by surprise.
“Oh no, the futon is GONE!” I thought and all the memories I’d had with that futon welled up from my mind and heart.
It was the first piece of furniture to anchor me after 5 years of living out of a backpack traveling the world, it was the bed for my then boyfriend John and I while we remodeled the basement bedroom, it was where I laid for several years of my life while I was sick watching BBC drama’s, it was the place where my cat Dave and I use to cuddle and he’d purr on my chest before bed.
There were so many memories associated with that futon.
Yet I knew it was time to move on. It was time to let go of all that as I entered my 50th year on the planet.
I knew I was ready for newness: to have surrounding me in my home what is a reflection of the me today versus what it was at 32 years old when I bought the house.
It feels like worlds away, but like yesterday too.
It also reminded me that when I bought my house I could fit everything I owned in my truck – a few boxes and my clothes. That was it.
Now it would take a moving truck to carry it all.
Funny how that happens.
The accumulation of Stuff.
At 32 years old I also didn’t realize or know that Stuff has an energy to it. It has layers of energy actually.
It has the energy it has just by being a material item (just as we are 99.999999% energy and only .000001% matter), while it takes on other energy from our owning it.
It takes on our physical, emotional and spiritual energy along with the energy of our attachment to it. (It also has the energy of how we’ve used it as a distraction or a protection from our pain – more on that later in the story).
I learned this when I helped my mom a couple of years ago clear out her house of 52 years, which was also my childhood home.
When I first began the, what would turn out to be a 5 month project, I was overwhelmed by the amount of Stuff to go through.
It took a few weeks for me to learn how to navigate how to care for my self while attending to this most important service for and with my mom.
There were some closets or drawers I’d clear out and feel energetically good. “Okay, done with that part!” I’d say with satisfaction.
Then there were other closets and drawers I’d go through and feel completely drained. Not just a tired, but like the life was sucked right out of me. Zilch, nothing left.
It was like my body was doing an energetic clearing of the Stuff.
And it had to do with Stuff I was going through – the energy it was carrying from the past, not just random.
I also discovered my mom needed her process in going through the Stuff. And my lesson was learning to allow her her process without pushing her to throw something out or give it away unless I could feel she wasn’t too attached to it or it didn’t hold an emotional tie.
After those 5 months of clearing out her house in California, I came back to my home in Montana to discover another surprise: how much I could feel the energy of my own Stuff!
I had accumulated a lot of Stuff over the years of owning a house. I’d gone through a little here and there, but not REALLY gone through it.
I knew as soon as I walked in the door everything I didn’t need, use or want HAD to go. No question.
Over 3 months I cleared out my house. It felt great. And this summer was the summer of beautifying. Of replacing the old with the new.
With upgrading that which was broken or falling apart (not hard to find on a 90 year old house), replacing old wall art with new wall art, and getting some “adult furniture” to replace the “new home owner on a tight budget furniture.”
The energy now feels clear and flowing in my house and I love it.
My body picks up on energy, of all kinds, from people’s energy to natures energy to the energy of Stuff and more.
I will walk into a house, room, office, etc and I can feel immediately if the energy is stuck or if it’s clear and flowing, or somewhere in between.
I can tell you which room in a house is most stuck, and which one is most clear. It has some to do with how much Stuff, but more to do with the energy that that Stuff holds, it’s organization, and the use or not use of that Stuff.
American’s have and own the most Stuff in the world – more than any other nation. Why is that? What is our addiction with Stuff?
My own experience in answering the question is: it’s another addiction or way that we distract or protect ourselves from the discomfort and pain we experience from time to time or on a daily basis that isn’t being addressed, or more so, wants to be avoided from feeling (and the marketing campaigns are soooo good at targeting this in us!).
I know, I did this. Just this summer in fact!
I noticed one day I had became addicted to Facebook Marketplace, looking for the next deal for my home. Looking 3 or more times a day. Oh, to be human! It’s easy to do.
Stuff (and shopping for Stuff) is a distraction and a protector just like busy-ness is, food/eating is, alcohol is, cell phone use is…
It’s like adding a layer of protection around ourselves so we can have comfort from what we’re feeling – like a pacifier for a baby, only we’re really good as adults in finding the adult (and culturally accepted) version.
Little i is sooooo smart! We can live our lives protecting and distracting – it’s easy to do (and it’s safe), or we can wake up to the habit and take small, medium or big steps toward changing that habit so we can attend to what’s happening inside ourselves.
That is where true happiness is. Not in ANY of that Stuff that we buy or own.
It’s a tricky path, and one that I meander from side to side on, and then sometimes have the clarity to walk a straight line, and then side to side again.
That’s part of the human experience that we go through.
Your soul is calling you to walk on that path, toward the light within.
When you are ready to interrupt a habit that is keeping you distracted or protected, lean in a little to the discomfort and pain and you’ll find it is the doorway to true peace, joy and connection with your heart and soul.
I’m sending you a big hug on this journey from my new super yummy and comfy “adult” couch 🙂
P.S. Happy Thanksgiving!!
Categories: Gratitude, Heart Centered Living, Self-Organization