A client sent a picture to me this week of a post it note he put above his desk to remind himself every day of the Truth.
He added these words in the email with it: “Purposely placed crooked and off center.” (Shared with his permission)
He realized how much trying to be perfect was creating stress and anxiety, and he is ready to let this go.
The post-it note is a great reminder he gives himself every day to remember the Truth that being “perfect” isn’t bringing him happiness. That giving himself permission to be imperfect actually brings more joy.
He’s been making remarkable changes, and even his family said, “You are so much happier in the last couple of months!”
Is this possible and is there such a thing as being perfectly imperfect?
YES, it is and yes, there is.
Because what your mind says is perfect, actually is not reality, and is often unrealistic.
What the magazines say is a perfect body, is not reality, and is often unrealistic.
What if you decided that not getting it “all done” was perfect, or that having some cellulose around your thighs was perfect, or having your house with the kids toys out was perfect, or that your meditation being 10 min. instead of 20 min. was perfect?
I can guarantee you’ll feel a lot more at ease, and a lot better about yourself too.
What culture, your parents, friends, and you believe is perfect is all a bunch of hog wash. Meaning, it’s not reality and it’s unrealistic.
How do you feel in your body when you say something “has to get done” by a certain day or time, or how do you feel in your body when you spend hours going over one project until it’s “perfect,” you put it out to your friends, co-workers, etc. and then noticed you missed something and a barrage of self-criticism’s starts? I’m guessing you feel anxious, stressed, and perhaps a sinking feeling in your chest.
Does it pass the “feel good” test (as one of my clients calls it)? If being a perfectionist isn’t creating a good feeling in your body, consider dropping the whole idea of being perfect.
Here’s how:
- Give yourself permission to not be perfect. Really – write a sticky note, just like my client, and put it where you can see it every day to remind yourself of what’s important.
- Notice when you’re trying to be perfect at something, or criticizing yourself for not. Take a breath. Remind yourself that the belief of what’s perfect is just that – a belief and not reality. Do your best – without the judgment of perfection.
- Be kind with yourself. When you want it to be “perfect” and it’s not/you are not, give yourself a little hug – internally with words like, “It’s o.k. It doesn’t need to be perfect. I’m o.k. as I am.”
- Say to yourself every day, in whatever you are doing, that, “This is perfect just as it is,” as well as, “I am perfect just as I am.” Trust that everything will be o.k. whether it’s “perfect” in how you see it or not.
Being kind and gentle with yourself around perfectionism is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Start today and make it a daily intention that you want to see yourself and life through the lens of reality and what’s realistic, not what your mind thinks it “should” be. There’s incredible freedom and peace that comes with it!
Categories: Heart Centered Living