Sometimes it feels like you’re on a bucking bronco – being thrown around in the air like a 5 year old’s play toy on a bad day. Which way will you be thrown today and for how far? And where?
Transition and change are some of the most unsettling times in our life. Yet often, we go thru them without knowing that we’re in it or not wanting to acknowledge it; hurrying as fast as we can to get out of it so we don’t feel uncomfortable in the not knowing how it’s all going to turn out or what “the plan” is.
Transitions can be foreseen like a child leaving for college, or a surprise like a death or divorce.
Either way, they are challenging because they’re asking us to reevaluate ourselves and our life to see it in a new way, as well as a lot of letting go and grieving of what was. Both can be difficult and messy at best.
There can also be a grasping for certainty during this time, wanting to have the answer to how it’s all going to turn out, or have the pain be gone.
The reality is, the discomfort is part of the deal, the transition and healing will take the time it needs, and there is no certainty in life.
I know, bummer. But it’s the truth.
AND there are ways to move thru transition and change that take away the desire to hurry through it, ease the discomfort, and give you clarity over time.
Here’s what’s helped me during times of loss and change (like losing my cat Dave or in searching for a new home):
- Keep with your daily self-connection rituals. Meditation, yoga, exercise, music – whatever you do that helps you stay connected or to connect for the first time to YOU. Even if it feels yucky while you’re in it or feels like it’s not helping, don’t give up. Keep these practices going. You need the stability and connection you get from doing these each day.
- Take time to FEEL. Often times the reaction is to stay busy or to figure it all out, when what you need is time to feel. This means crying, screaming, feeling sad, angry, frustrated, joyous, whatever it is. Your heart and soul need you to FEEL. It doesn’t mean you stay in this all the time, but you allow yourself time instead of avoiding it.
- Talk to people. Talking with others thru these times of transition and change is really important. It helps get out what’s inside, and can even provide moments of clarity as you work something out while talking about it. Find a close friend, an open acquaintance. Counseling and coaching are also powerful mentors during these times to provide guidance and support.
- Ride the wave of discomfort. What I mean by this is when you notice you’re feeling uncomfortable and grasping for an answer (like a tightness in your chest), take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re not in control. That it’s o.k. to feel uncomfortable. Take a walk in the wind or look up at the sky to remind yourself that in the big picture “all is well.”
On the other side of transition and change is often a more authentic you. A more compassionate person who carries more wisdom for life, and an openness to possibility. Rituals, feel, share, and be with the discomfort. As you do, acceptance will unfold into peace with what IS one small moment at a time.
What have you found to help you during times of transition or change? Please share so others can benefit – there are many people who need your wisdom too!
Categories: Heart Centered Living